When it comes to self love, we could all use a little more of it. Self love can sound cliché and is very abstract, but the truth is, the longest relationship you will ever have, is the one you have with yourself. Today I’m going to share with you 3 tips to help you create more self love. These are tips and tools I use in my daily life to cultivate a deeper connection to myself.
My journey to Self Love is still unfolding. This year has been the deepest dive I’ve taken into loving myself more fully, and it has been a ride to remember. Journeying to more self love takes compassion and patience. It uncovers deep past wounds and traumas that are buried to keep us safe. I had, and still have to be willing to go there. Willing to be courageous and vulnerable to feel so I can heal.
The truth is, we have all built up strategies and behaviours that helped us get through a past experience, childhood, trauma, etc. A lot of the time those strategies don’t serve anymore and actually create more separation than connection. This is why diving deep and embarking on the journey to Self Love is so important. It’s the KEY to finding more connection to yourself, others and the world around you.
And guess what? You 100%, absolutely deserve to live a life filled of love, connection and joy. So go for it!
First, What is self love?
Self love is exactly what it sounds like: Love for yourself! The hardest part of self love is actually doing it, actually loving yourself! Most of us have codependent tendencies and behaviours that actually stem from a lack of self worth and lack of self love.
Some codependent behaviours/tendencies can look like this:
- Putting everyone else’s needs first
- Being a “YES” person (saying YES to everything)
- Carrying resentment towards the person you are “doing everything for”
- Self abandonment
- Self sabotage
- Unhealthy negative self talk etc.
Codependency shows up in all of our relationships: with yourself, with family and friends, with your lover and at work with your boss and coworkers. The good thing is, bringing more self love into your life will actively help your gain more self esteem and begin to empower you. That will slowly help you build up your confidence and self worth so you can start putting yourself first and shift those codependent relationships to become healthier ones. (including having a healthier relationship with yourself)!
3 tips to create more self love:
- SELF CARE
Adding self care to your daily life lets your mind and body know you are important. Start with small and simple acts like: exercise/ movement, meditation, eating healthy foods, taking baths and time off when you need rest. The more often you add time for self care into your life, the more you will build a stronger loving relationship with yourself.
- LOVE NOTES
One of my favourite tools is writing Love Notes. What is a love note? It’s writing small, loving notes to yourself and leaving (usually on a sticky note) and leaving them in areas around your house that you frequent (like your washroom mirror, the refrigerator door, in your laptop, etc.). Love Notes will infuse more LOVE into your reality and help you pivot negative self talk. Love Note examples: “I am beautiful, kind and loving.”, “ I am pure potential.”
- HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Healthy boundaries are very important when it comes to building self love. This is even more relevant if you’re someone who is a “YES” person or puts everyone else first. Every time you do that, you actually abandon yourself and your needs and that slowly creates subconscious resentment in your relationships. Healthy boundaries mean saying NO (in a loving kind way) when something is really not resonating, or when you actually just want to stay in and watch a movie instead of going out. It means PAUSING when someone asks you to do something for them and taking a moment to ask yourself how you feel about it before responding.
These 3 tips are simple, but effective when you actually put them into daily practice. A life full of love is a life you deserve.
Remember, you are WORTH IT and YOU ARE LOVED.
From my heart to yours.
PS. We have just launched our Holiday Promo so you can give the gift of NÜLOVE. You can now purchase a NÜLOVE Studio membership gift card and get 50% off a second membership!